Cheating Could Cost You Big Time!

Cheating Could Cost You Big Time!
By Johnny Lee Clary

I watched a country music video that was made in the 80's recently on youtube.com. It was one of my favorites by country singer Sylvia, and it was titled "Snapshot." Here is a little of the lyrics:

I found a cigarette, circled with lipstick
And the lingering of perfume in the room
The look on his face, was priceless
I don't think he expected me so soon
I'm sure he's got, an innocent excuse...

(Chorus)
Except for the snapshot
He doesn't know I've got (I've got! Uh-huh!)
He almost pulled off the perfect lover's crime!
Except for the snapshot
That puts me on top (On top! Uh-huh!)
He thinks he's got one on me,
But he hasn't seen, the snapshot

He says he bought the new car, strictly for business
And the new clothes match the new smile on his face
The extra key on his chain-- must be to the office
Poor baby, leaving early, staying late
He's got an alibi, for every move he makes

(Chorus)
Except for the snapshot
He doesn't know I've got (I've got! Uh-huh!)
He almost pulled off the perfect lover's crime!
Except for the snapshot
That puts me on top (On top! Uh-huh!)
He thinks he's got one on me,
But he hasn't seen, the snapshot

When he comes home tonight
It'll be his surprise
I had it blown up, life size! (Life size!)
I'm not quite as foolish, as you thought I'd be
I took everything....

Including the snapshot
He doesn't know I've got (I've got! Uh-huh!)
He almost pulled off the perfect lover's crime!
Except for the snapshot
That puts me on top (On top! Uh-huh!)
He thinks he's got one on me,
But he hasn't seen, the snapshot



Although this was made back in the 80's and went to number one on the country music charts for several weeks, I think Sylvia was giving us a glimpse into the future. You see in this day and age, with almost everyone carrying a cell phone with a video and snapshot camera on it, TV shows like "Cheaters," and online programs that let you spy on your other half, the chances are better than ever that you will be caught. If you get caught cheating on your spouse you can end up paying dearly. Before the age of video, it used to be one's word against the other and the person doing the cheating stood a good chance of lying their way out of it if their spouse confronted them with suspicions' of infidelity. Even if one didn't believe their cheating spouse, and it ended up in divorce court, without proof of infidelity, it was one person's word against the other and with a good lawyer the cheater could come out of the marriage with half of everything and even more in some cases. Not so anymore. With all the latest technology, it can be pretty easy to prove an affair and if that is the case, then the cheating spouse can say goodbye to almost everything they have worked all of their life for. If it's a man doing the cheating, he can more than likely say goodbye to Bass Pro Shop and hello to the pawn shop! If it's a woman doing the cheating, it can be "Goodbye Neiman Marcus; Hello Dollar Store!"


Here are some more lyrics to another song by Sara Evans that speak the truth:

How do you like that furnished room, the bed, the chair, the table
The TV picture comes and goes, too bad you don't have cable
How do you like that paper plate, and those pork-n-beans you're eatin'
Maybe you should've thought about that
When you were cheatin'

How do you like that beat up car, I think it's fair we traded
Your pick up truck is running fine, it's a cozy ride for datin'
Yes, I've been out a time or two, and found the comfort I've been needin
Maybe you should've thought about that
When you were cheatin'

You made your bed and your out of mine
You lie awake and I sleep just fine
You've done your sowing, now you can do the reaping
Maybe you should've thought about that
When you were cheatin'

Now, what became of what's her name, after she spent all your money
Did she leave you like you left me, well sometimes life is funny
Yes I'll be glad to take you back, just as soon as I stop breathin
Maybe you should've thought about that
When you were cheatin'

In most cases the person deserves it. Besides being against God's rulebook and the person taking a chance on eternal damnation if they don't repent and become born again, it is just plain morally wrong to betray the trust of someone who you took vows to love, honor and obey. It will stay on your conscience and that can sometimes be just as painful as losing everything in a nasty divorce.


Take it from someone who has been on both sides of the coin, I know what I am talking about. I've been cheated on so many times I can't count, and I have also done my fair share of being involved with married women or cheating on someone. Back in my party days when I hung out in the barrooms, when I would meet a girl and she would tell me she was married, I would reply "How married are you?" The girl would either answer that she was very married, (which meant off limits or get lost) or not all that married, and if it was the latter, then chances are she would become another notch on my belt before the night was over.


At least the ones that told me they were married, even if they went home with me were honest with me about being married; I'll give them that, even if they were not being honest with their spouse. The thing that was more horrible to me at the time was the ones I would meet that were not honest about being married. I can't count how many times I took a girl home with me at the end of the night only to have her leave right after the deed, with the excuse she had to be at work early or get home to her kids. A lot of them would leave a number on a matchbook and when I called it was either a wrong number or a man answered. That was never fun because somehow you feel dirty and used when that happens. Yes girls it may surprise you but men can feel that way too if they have an ounce of decency in them.


The world also has double standards when it comes to such carrying on. If it is a man doing the sleeping around, he is considered a "stud," but if it is a woman sleeping around she is considered a "slut," and that isn't right. Almost every married woman I was ever involved with had the same story. It almost always went like this: "He doesn't love me anymore; He cheats on me; He never pays attention to me; and he doesn't talk to me anymore." I used to say, "Show me a man who don't talk to his woman and I'll show you a man whose woman I can steal!" The fact of the matter is this is true almost 99% of the time.


A lot of people think most women in that situation are looking for an upgrade and will leave their husbands when something better seems to come along. That is not always the case anymore. If a woman does not feel needed and wanted, I don't care how much money and material things she has, there is a good chance she will leave her man for a guy that is not worth near as much as her husband is worth, as long as she feels that man pays attention to her and makes her feel special and wanted. I knew of a rich oil man once whose wife had an affair with a ranch hand because the cowboy made her feel special and needed. In other words he was able to satisfy her emotionally where her rich oil husband didn't. This was either because he was screwing around himself; was too preoccupied with business making money; just didn't care anymore; or all of the above.


I am ashamed to admit it, but back in the early 80's I was seeing a married woman named Connie that I would meet every Thursday night at Countryland Honky-Tonk in Springdale, Arkansas. I got the stories from Connie of how her marriage had been over for a long time and one of these days she was going to leave him for me. My affair with Connie went on for quite a while much to the disapproval of some of my friends. Then one Friday night, Connie's husband sat down on the barstool next to mine and introduced himself. The man was 6'6 and about 300 pounds. I knew who he was right off and was thinking that one blow from his big hairy hand could send me to the promise land if he hit me just right. I was thinking about grabbing a beer bottle and hitting him as hard as I could and then getting on out of Dodge City! However, the man was as nice as could be. We hung out drinking together most of the night and when he found out it was my birthday he refused to let me pay for anything telling me my money was no good around him. At the end of the night I felt like this man was an old friend. Then the guilt sank in. I wrestled with my conscience all week long and when Thursday arrived, I met Connie at the honky-tonk and broke it off with her. As the years passed I would wonder if he knew about me and Connie and decided to be my buddy in hopes that I would end up with a guilt trip and break it off with his wife. I wondered if he chose this method instead of killing me and ending up in jail for the rest of his life, or if he decided that if he injured me that Connie would react by leaving him and coming to be by my side. Well whatever the case, it worked, and the affair ended. He was a smart man if any of this was the case. I have never been able to convince myself that of all the people for him to sit down next to and befriend was the man who was having an affair with his wife. Not in that honky-tonk anyway because there was always a huge crowd there. I felt guilty about it even after I ended my affair with Connie.


I was the victim of being cheated on a lot. The bible says in Galatians 6:7 that whatsoever a man sows he will reap. When I got married a few years later, my ex-wife Sue Ellen cheated on me. Right after our divorce, I dedicated my life to Christ. However, I learned that the possibility of being cheated on does not stop just because one becomes a Christian. I learned that church girls can be just as, if not more ruthless and unfaithful as the barroom girls. I can't count how many times I was in dating relationships with girls who claimed to be born again, only to find they were just as unfaithful as my ex-wife Sue Ellen who was a witch, literally. I dated a girl named Robyn from Atlanta, Georgia who claimed to be a Christian but as it turned out her head had been on as many pillows as a chocolate mint in a hotel room.

Next there was Diane from Mountain Home, Arkansas. We had a romance, were officially 'going steady' and everything seemed great, until I found out she was cheating on me by sleeping with her rich ex-boyfriend who was in a wheelchair. We broke up and then her problem teenage son who was very happy that his mom had stopped dating the wheelchair guy and was with me, grew unhappy with his mother's choice to cheat on me and dump me for that other guy, so he committed suicide. He couldn't stand what his mother did and had become.


It never feels good when you find out you failed to discern that the person you were interested in is a cheater and a liar.


One has to make a choice when that is the case. They can choose the world's way in getting even, or they can choose God's way in moving on and trusting Him to bring them the right person who knows that God's will is staying true. The world wants to say that getting even is Ok, to justify adultery. I knew a girl once that told me she found out her husband was looking at pornography so therefore she had a right to a one night stand, in order to get even with him. Wrong! People will try to justify giving in to their own sinful desires. That is human nature. However, God's nature is to rebuke temptation. Jesus was tempted by the Satan himself, and Jesus rebuked that old devil. Therefore as Christians we are expected to follow in the Lord's example. James 4:7 says resist the Devil and he will flee from you.


The choice is yours. No man or woman wants to work hard all of their life attaining a house, cars, kids, property, boat, household luxuries, bank accounts, respectability, and even businesses, just to see it all taken away because they gave in to temptation for a little roll in the hay with someone that turned them on sexually. It is not worth loosing it all especially when you see it go bye-bye when you get up in front of Judge Judy, because that is exactly what will happen with this new modern day technology that can prove real fast that you cheated. Nine out of ten times that person you are caught cheating with will not end up with you anyway. Remember, if they cheated on the person they took vows to, then whatever they tell you can not be believed either. You are a dang fool if you think otherwise.

Even if they do leave their spouse for you or you leave your spouse for them, in the back of you all's minds will be the thought of 'is this person going to leave me when they get tired of me after a while?' Think about it. People seem to set patterns of repeating things in their lives unless they renew their minds in Christ Jesus like it says in Romans 12:2.


As for you men, you may think you are getting away with something when you are cheating but women are not as peaceful and wimpy about these things like they used to be. I saw an episode of "Cheaters" the other night where "Cheaters" caught a guy cheating on his girlfriend and when she confronted him she pulled a knife and went for his grapefruits between his legs before the cast of "Cheaters" were able to grab her and get the knife away from her. The fact is though; she had time to do some damage before the crew got her subdued. It only takes a second and that knife was up against the grapefruits for a few seconds before the film crew intervened. That man that was cheating on her should be thanking God right now that he is not singing soprano!


You can also end up cheating on someone that does what Carrie Underwood, who happens to be a church-going Christian sang about in a song she recorded about catching her husband cheating.

Right now, he's probably slow dancing with a
bleached-blonde tramp
And she's probably getting frisky
Right now he's probably buying her some Fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick showing her how to shoot a combo
And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his Pretty little souped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

Right now, she's probably up singing some
white-trash version of Shania karaoke
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
And he's thinking that he's gonna lucky
Right now, he's probably dabbing on three dollars worth of that bathroom polo
And he don't know... OH!

That I dug my key into the side of his Pretty little souped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl
A 'cause the next time that he cheats
Oh, you know it won't be on me
No, oh
Not on me...

I dug my key into the side of his Pretty little souped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...

Oh, oh
Before he cheats
ohhhh.

Like I said, it's up to you. It's your choice. If you do it God's way it's a happy day, but if you do it the world's way you're going to pay!
Yes cheating could cost you big time!

Johnny Lee Clary
© Johnny Lee Clary International Ministries